Sunday, February 27, 2011

Tiny Imaginary Play #7

Two genderless beings are having tea. They drink out of delicate porcelain cups with matching saucers.

The teapot, which has a candle under it so it will stay warm all day, is almost out of hot water. Wet chrysanthemums crowd the tea strainer.


HABUS: I've been wanting to talk to you about something delicate...
TABUS: Just spit it out.
HABUS: You smell.
TABUS: Fuck you!
HABUS: Not really you, actually, I think it's your deodorant.
TABUS: Of course my deodorant smells, that's what it's supposed to do, smell to keep me from smelling.
HABUS: But it smells worse than you do.
TABUS: Oh

They sip their tea for a moment in silence.

TABUS: Can you smell it now?
HABUS: Yup, can't you?

TABUS sniffs.

TABUS: Maybe. But I like it. It smells...safe.

The tea-shoppe proprietor, or perhaps her assistant, approaches them.

MARIE: More hot water?
TABUS: Can you smell me?
MARIE: All I can smell is chrysanthemums. Would you like more tea?
HABUS: Excuse me, I think you have something on your shirt.

Habus reaches out for what ze thinks is a small caterpillar that has attached itself to Marie's shirt, right below her sternum, but as ze pulls it, ze finds that it is attached, through a small aperture, to the inside of her body. Ze keeps pulling and the caterpillar unfurls itself out of Marie's chest until the table between them is covered in meters and meters of yellow and black caterpillar fur.

Finally, with a strange rush of wind, the far end emerges.

Marie's eyes roll around in her head and for a moment it looks like she is about to faint. Habus and Tabus stand up, preparing to help her. But then her vision clears and she picks up the teapot decisively.


MARIE: I'll go get you some more hot water. Sit down! Be comfortable! Oh, and just brush that off onto the floor okay? I'll come sweep it up later.

She exits. Habus and Tabus look down at the table with suspicion, then sit awkwardly down again. What will happen to the strange mass between them?


(Written after Solo Training Session #7, 2/25/11)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Eonnagata's Interpellation

A few weeks ago I saw Eonnagata, a collaborative theatre piece by a trio of acclaimed artists who also serve as its sole performers. Theatrical innovator Robert Lepage, ballerina-turned-contempory-dancer Sylvie Guillem and choreographer Russell Maliphant premiered Eonnagata in London in 2009 and recently brought it to the states on a brief and limited tour. They take as their storyline the history of the Chevalier d'Eon, an 18th century french diplomat and spy who lived the first part of his life as a man and the second half as a woman. Most accurately described as dance-theatre, it blends theatre, dance, martial arts, visual spectacle, and a Kabuki technique of cross-gender performance called onnagata.

I saw the piece at UC Berkeley's Zellerbach Theatre, which was probably a few hundred short of its 2000 seat capacity, and found myself almost blissfully engaged throughout the entire performance. There was a great interpretive openness that allowed my mind to drift in and out of their visually stimulating world. The minimal text and frequently changing mis-en-scene invited me to assemble the pieces as I saw fit, which I deeply enjoy, and if I was ever lacking engagement, I had merely to turn my attention to the breathtaking grace of Sylvie Guillem, who moves like something out of a liquid dream.

The piece was certainly not flawless. The staging was frequently stuck centerstage, their reliance on expensive design elements was a little too easy, the dancers didn't handle spoken or sung language particularly well, and Lepage's limited dance abilities held the trio back.

And still I loved it. The piece called out to an audience that I don't quite believe exists yet in the United States. It interpellated us as viewers who embrace the non-linearity and characterlessness of post-dramatic performance art. It trusted that we too were interested in a world in which gender doesn't resolve itself to an entrapping binary, and where performances of self-expression are not merely in service of a constantly hardening and sedimenting individual ego. These are things that I frequently see in small fringe theatre and dance spaces in San Francisco and New York. Seeing them explored onstage in a large venue to a seemingly warm audience was exciting.

I believe we can say things in art that we don't yet have the words to say in critical and academic discourse. In Eonnagata, I felt Lepage, Guillem and Maliphant reaching towards new visions of gender and embodiment - visions that are as yet unarticulatable with language, but might be almost graspable through attending deeply to the materiality of bodies in motion onstage.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Tiny Imaginary Play #6


A crowd of people stand at the top of a hill on a sunny windy day.

Half have their hands jammed into their pockets to fend off the cold.

The other half have their arms stretched out into the air like they could take off at any moment.

The wind sounds like a symphony and the birds seem to cry welcome.


BIRD #1: Craven crawlers, crispy palms
BIRD #2: Sun snuggle noonday down the hard therefoot.
BIRD #1: Ceasing up? Down a long dawn side.
BIRD #2: Richer then fullsong louden alltune time
BIRD #1: Now ringthen?
BIRD #2: Ring to then.

One person with his hands in his pockets pulls out a harmonica and starts to play.

Barely audible over the whistling air, the tinny chords sound strangely noble.

Two of the ones with arms outstretched move closer and reach down to hold hands, their rigid limbs softening as they meet each other. Together, they run down the hill towards where they can hear each other more clearly.


Lover #1: It's warm if you lie right there, on the dark rocks where the sun bakes.
Lover #2: You first.

Lover #1 lies down in the dark rocks. Lover #2 lies down next to her. If they strain, they can still hear the harmonica.


(Written after viewing the video documentation of Solo Training Session #6, 2/23/11)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I'm Not Offended

I’m trying to stop using the phrase “offended” to describe my response to works of art. “Offended” is a cop-out word, a polite substitute for what I’m actually feeling, which is usually closer to hurt or anger.

Some art hurts me. Often it breaks my heart consensually, painfully cracking me open in that way that hurts but feels good at the same time. The pain is a sign that the intensity of the work’s vision is spreading to me, where it has the potential to change me. Change hurts.

Some art hurts me in a non-consensual way. Some ideas, like unchallenged expressions of bigotry, feel particularly poisonous or dangerous when nestled into a work of art. I don’t want them to get inside me and I’m scared of what they’ll do if they take root in other people.

In the wake of this fear travels anger. Anger at ideas that I think are cruel or unfair, at people who spread them, and at their power to access a pulpit.

All of these experiences – hurt, fear, anger – can generate energy. Rather than use that energy to shout “I’m offended!” I’d like to use it to make more art, “better” (in my opinion) art, that speaks more directly to the world I live in and the one I envision.

Saying “I’m offended” carries the spectre of censorship. It’s an attempt to claim moral high ground without first acknowledging the vulnerable experiences of hurt, fear, and anger. Rather than hardening into feeling offended, I want to first feel what the work of art is conjuring inside me, then discuss why, then, if there is still energy left over from the exchange, create something new in response to my experience.

Being offended has the subtle air of privilege. When you’re offended you seem to say “Well I can handle the intensity of this art, but other people can’t. Women and children shouldn’t see this. Weak-minded or weak-willed individuals couldn’t understand its ambiguity. So it should change or go away entirely.” We don’t always watch with our own eyes alone, often our response to art is caught up with our fantasies and fears of how other people would respond to it. This kind of collective spectatorship can be a manifestation of empathy, but it can also point to a distrust of other people’s ability to process input, both pleasure and pain.

When a work of art hurts me (in that non-consensual way) sometimes I think “Dear God, don’t let others be hurt by this the way that I was.” The pain of representation and misrepresentation can hurt like sticks and stones. But if set into motion, the energy of that pain and anger can transform into new forces of expression.

Being offended is an (ultimately futile) attempt to stop the forceful exchange of expression and responsiveness. Instead let's express and respond even more fully, even more energetically, with deeper respect and greater endurance.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tiny Imaginary Play #5


A pock-marked man in uniform looks out over the grey sea.

He can feel the salty wind on his face, its noise almost drowning out the clanging sound of some piece of equipment bouncing against the ship’s hull.

A second man approaches, also in uniform. He’s wearing sunglasses.


SHADES: Don’t do it.
POCKS: Hrm?
SHADES: Don’t look out over the grey sea and ponder the uselessness of it all.
POCKS: M’not.
SHADES: Can see it in your eyes.
POCKS: Just looking.
SHADES: You should look when no-one else is looking. At you looking.
POCKS: Shouldn’t you be somewhere?
SHADES: Got tired of playing World of Warcraft with teenagers in Tennessee.
POCKS: Tired of getting your ass kicked you mean.
SHADES: I don’t play because I’m good, I play because it’s fun.

They look out at the grey sea and ponder the uselessness of it all.

POCKS: I love her I miss her I don’t know if I love her or if I’m just lonely I don’t know how to talk to her I don’t know how to touch her she’s a foreign country without a consulate and I don’t know the local customs and I can’t stomach the food and I know she knows me but she also doesn’t know me and I can’t tell if the me she knows is me or not and if it isn’t do I want to become that me or is it a trap she’s luring me towards so that all the other me’s that may or may not be realer than her version end up vanishing into the ether and what happens to this me the one without limits the quiet one I feel moving in the nighttime and speeding with the sky the one that loves the rush of acceleration and the absent breathing stillness of no one watching I’m afraid that this one will die I’m afraid to lose the most abstract corners of myself I don’t want to map their contours I don’t want to plumb their depths and I’m afraid she won’t let me leave anything vague and sometimes I want more than anything to be left in peace in vagueness.

SHADES takes off his sunglasses and looks at POCKS for a moment.

SHADES: Wanna go play Crysis?
POCKS: Sure.

They exit.


(Written 2/16/11 after Solo Training Session #5)

Monday, February 7, 2011

entropy. redress.

My friend and collaborator Rhonda Soikowski, who works on the edge of performance practice, embodied research, and pedagogical innovation, recently asked me to participate in her current project titled entropy. redress.

Rhonda invited collaborators to create short video pieces incorporating a single red dress that criss-crossed the globe. Shortly before I got my hot little hands on it, the dress was ripped untimely from the land and disappeared into the Mediterranean. Our small constraint reduced to none, myself and my collaborators Joe Moore and Beth Hersh took to the beach to try to reach towards the lost object.

Click on the image below to see the results of our work. How Rhonda will incorporate it into her piece is still unknown, but it was a privilege and a pleasure to be a part of the journey.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Tiny Imaginary Play #4


Two people sit in a large bathtub, heads on opposite sides.

They are sorta blissed out, each in their own way.


PERSON #1: Can you turn on the jets?
PERSON #2: Shhhhhhhhhhhh
PERSON #1: What?
PERSON #2: I'm thinking
PERSON #1: Can't you think with the jets on?

Person #2 shakes head.

Time passes.

The ceiling dissolves and above the bathtub swirl constellations and meteors and new galaxies only recently discovered and captured by Hubble photographers. The moon rises through the astral dust til it's perching above them where it begins
to pulse and hum.

Person #1 turns on the jets.


The ceiling quickly returns.


PERSON #2: Goddamn it!
PERSON #1: Can you pass the loofa?

Person #1 throws the loofa at Person #2.

PERSON #2: You always gotta do that kinda shit.
PERSON #1 (loofa-ing): Can you run the hot? Water's getting cold.



(Written 2/3/11, after Solo Training Session #4)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Movin’ On Up: Clybourne Park at ACT


Lorraine Hansberry’s 1959 play Raisin in the Sun looms large in the history of American theatre. As my playwriting teacher Cherrie Moraga described it, for a black female playwright to be produced on Broadway in that climate, she had to write the mother of all “well-made plays.” Indeed, the characters and plot are wrought so skillfully that not even that era’s heavy fog of racism and sexism could cloud the eyes of the Pulitzer committee. Over the past half-century, Raisin continues to be taught in high school classrooms and produced extensively, especially on college campuses.

I admire the boldness of playwright Bruce Norris, whose new play Clybourne Park is in direct conversation with Hansberry’s. At the end of Raisin, the Younger family moves out of their cramped apartment in the south side of Chicago to the fictional white neighborhood of Clybourne Park, willing to take on the potential racism of their new neighbors in pursuit of a better life for their family. Norris’s play takes place in the very house that the Younger family purchases: Act One is set in 1959, as the prior occupants, a husband and wife haunted by the death of their son, pack their final boxes. Act Two is set in 2009 in the now run-down house in the now black neighborhood that has been purchased and scheduled for heavy renovation by a middle-class white couple.

I’ve had the privilege of seeing Clybourne Park twice – once at its New York premiere at Playwright’s Horizons, and last weekend at ACT in San Francisco – giving me ample opportunity to muse on its successes and limitations.

It’s great to see a play that takes on the urgent question of gentrification. We’re asked to consider the politics of who lives where, in proximity to whom, and what facilitates and limits freedom of movement within cities and between communities. Norris’s play acknowledges that the living-room drama is (and in fact has always been) synonymous with the drama of the local community and the larger society. In foregrounding the inter-articulation of family and society, this play attends to the truth that (in this country, at least) conversations about race are always conversations about class, capitalism, and the history of exploiting human beings for profit.

I’m a sucker for plays that use theatrical devices to put history into direct conversation with the present (see Stoppard’s Arcadia, Churchill’s Cloud Nine). They seem to make un-ignorable the truth that “the way things are” is a product of “the way things were,” rather than a natural, unalterable state of affairs. Both the SF and the NYC audiences seemed to “get” the connections the playwright was drawing between “then” and “now”– made clear by their timely laughter and thoughtful harrumphs.

However, despite finding content and form appealing, ultimately Clybourne Park doesn’t satisfy me. Here’s why.

The story of gentrification is the story of privilege. Privilege is getting what you want without too much work. We have terms like “silver spoon” and “silver platter” to help us talk about the materiality of privilege.

Ultimately, much of the drama and almost all of the comedy of Clybourne Park emerges from the difficulty white people have talking about race. The heat and confusion of this difficulty is very sympathetic to audiences at expensive theatres in New York and San Francisco, most of whom are white, middle-class or higher and progressive enough to truly care about issues of class and racial privilege in this country. It’s fine to make plays that speak specifically to this audience (and in fact Norris has said that he is trying to do exactly that). The only problem is that when a play presents issues to an audience from a perspective so similar to their own, they don’t have to work that hard to “get” it. There is no empathetic reach on the part of the viewers to understand what is transpiring onstage in front of them, the kind of reach made by the audience at the premiere of Raisin in the Sun in 1959. It is this reach, and the bravery of a playwright who compels her audience to make such a reach, that results in watershed moments in theatre history.

The other kind of playwriting is the artistic equivalent of the silver platter. The privileged audience sees privileged characters stumbling uncomfortably over their own privilege, and gets to laugh and cry at it from the safety of the velvet chair – thus releasing the pressure valve of that tension in their own lives. Rather than asking the audience to step forward towards the unknown realm of another person's reality, I worry that Clybourne Park holds the platter out too far, requiring too little from the viewers and thus participating in the same structures of inequality that it critiques.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tiny Imaginary Play #3


Two women sit in an urban park throwing bread crumbs to pigeons.

One has hair so long it twirls around her body to the ground, where it blends in with the autumn leaves.

The second has fingernails so long that their curlicues dance with every gesture. She is visibly pregnant.

They look at the birds.

ONE WITH THE HAIR: The first time you really think you're going to die. Each contraction feels that much closer, and you keep thinking of all the women throughout history who've died in childbirth, and all the animals that die immediately after giving birth --

The woman with the fingernails gives her a look.


HAIR: Sorry.

They go back to feeding the birds.

HAIR: When my second was born, though, it felt like an orgasm.

FINGERNAILS: They say death feels like that too.

HAIR: Men get erections, right?

FINGERNAILS: I think that's just in Beckett

HAIR: No, really, I think it's rigor mortis or something.

FINGERNAILS: I mean better, like the release.

HAIR: Who says?

FINGERNAILS: I guess it's a hypothesis.

Suddenly a pigeon falls out of the sky with a splat, landing in front of them. It stands up, tries to take a few steps, and then falls over dead.

The women look at each other.


FINGERNAILS: I wish I could just skip to the second time.

(Written 02/02/11, after Solo Training Session #3)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Feminist Methods

So I considered taking a class this quarter called "Feminist Methods." My plate was too full for the additional course, but the title keeps ringing in my head. I know it's basically a class examining how feminist methodologies are used in research practices across the academic disciplines: history, literature, sociology, psychology, etc. But I keep thinking of all the other things this course could offer.

I sometimes feel completely baffled about how to live in a world that remains unrelentingly sexist, racist, classist, homophobic and xenophobic. Despite progress (and lip-service to progress) I feel like I run up against institutionalized inequalities every day. And I live in San Francisco! And I spend most of my time at a university! How do other people even manage?

I know I'm highly sensitive to the suffering caused by sex and gender prejudices; I always have been. And it feels like the more I learn about the world, the more sensitive I become to identity-based injustices.

I have taken many a course on how to see and analyze these injustices, but not a single one that teaches me how to deal with the difficulty of integrating this knowledge into my daily life. It's painful to walk through the world perceiving these half-visible hegemonic structures holding us all trapped in places we don't want to be. I need guidance on how to deal with the information I've gained.

If I were teaching a class called Feminist Methods, my syllabus would include these topics:

- Feminist methods for approaching the study of history without breaking down into tears when you realize that women are systematically left out of most of the juicy parts.

- Feminist methods for appreciating Western art even though 90% of the time women are stuck being the looked-at subject, not the creator.

- Feminist methods for dealing with street harassment from men, especially across cultural lines and in countries that are not your own.

- Feminist methods for thinking about and interacting with pornography in a way that celebrates sexuality, resists censorship and opposes exploitation.

- Feminist methods for getting over jealousy and competitiveness towards other women over who's prettier, sexier, smarter, more capable, more put together, etc...

- Feminist methods for not getting angry when people call you an angry feminist.

- Feminist methods for holding faith that a highly sensitive, responsive, emotional, intuitive, receptive, accepting mode of human interaction is just as valuable as an assertive, rational mode.

- Feminist methods for approaching the monumental task of motherhood with respect even though it's devalued and sentimentalized by Western culture, and usually entails sacrificing hard-won power and privileges in your professional life.

- Feminist methods for forgiving your father, since he's stuck in the system as much as you are.

- Feminist methods for not confusing your boyfriend/husband/lover/friend with the patriarchy just because he's grown up with subtle privileges of having a penis.

- Feminist methods for avoiding the psychic burnout of remaining a feminist.


If you know of any place that offers coursework like this, would you let me know? I could really use it.

And I'm sure there are topics missing from this hypothetical syllabus. What would you add?